Thursday, March 22, 2007

Still Here

There's been little time for writing this week and I'm surprised at how much I've missed all my "regular" writing activities~One Deep Breath, and Write on Wednesday completely passed me by, and now here's it's Poetry Thursday already. The ideas are gnawing away in that little corner of my mind I reserve for writing, a corner that seems to be growing larger all the time. But when I look at my calendar for the next few weeks, my heart sinks a bit, because I see so little "me" time in those squares that are filled with work deadlines, rehearsals, music festivals, and appointments.

I've been writing off and on for most of my life, but writing has never been a "consuming passion" ~until now. I feel a deep sense of unease when life crowds in so much that there's no time left to get the words from my mind onto the page. The pen, the keyboard, the blank page beckon me, and it's all the more painful when I sit at my desk at work, typing away on medical reports and billing statements, when my fingers are really itching to tell the stories poking away at my brain.

I'm more than familiar with consuming passions~the piano has been mine since I was a child. Being away from it was like being deprived of basic sustenance~I become irritable, unhappy, and finally painfully miserable. That's one reason I hang on to my job as an accompanist -it allows me to feed that passion on a regular basis.

But the writing passion~that's new, and harder to fulfill within the parameters of my life in general. When life gets busy, like it is now, I feel guilty indulging myself in writing time, when I could be doing something "productive."

So, I'm about to set off on what I call Marathon Thursday~office from 9:30 until 1:00, school from 1:30 to 6:30, then church for bells and choir. Finally, home to Grey's Anatomy, which TiVo is keeping warm for me.

This week's haiku prompt at One Deep Breath was, appropriately, "breath and breathing." Here's mine:

deep inhale for courage
shoulders squared
i face the day

How about you? What are you facing today? Will you have time to indulge your consuming passions?



Blogger paris parfait said...

You're so right about beginning to feel anxious if we can't write when we want to. But I've been that way my whole life. Don't know if it's a blessing or a curse. Great haiku and I hope you find time to balance your writing, your music and all the things you enjoy!

Blogger Tammy said...

I'm sorry you are so swamped and feeling anxious. This haiku is you! The warrior writer :) XXOO

Blogger Star said...

I was going to send out an SOS to you this afternoon. I really do understand about being so busy you can hardly breathe, but fortunately I'm easing out of that time myself.

I hope you're able to enjoy your music and are not just swept along in the busy-ness of it all.

Thanks for taking time to give us a quick update. :D

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hear ya on the busy/swamped thing.
The more I get overwhelmed, the less I get done....therefore more overwhelmed....
Working on it though.

I really like your haiku!

Blogger Tori said...

I being the musician/writer type TOTALLY relate to this. I hate that feeling that I get when I am spending so much time doing things that I have to do and they are not the things that I want to be doing.
I spend 40+ hours a week trouble shooting computer operations for a medical billing company...this is about 1% of the real me, yet the time I spend doing it is out of whack with that. Our society needs to realign its priorities. We would all be much more happier, peaceful people if we had more control over all of our moments.
I'll be thinking of you.

Anonymous bella said...

I'm feeling much like you are Becca. I'm short on time but I've got a lot swimming around in my head.
I loved your haiku!

Blogger Kimberley McGill said...

Hope you are getting some rest from your marathon Thursday - I remember days like those.
Currently, I have a lot of time since I am not working. And yet, I seem to fill up my calendar anyway! Some of it is fun - but others are obligations and duties I would love to fly through quickly so I can get to the good stuff.
Take care of yourself and I look forward to future poetry from you.
(and thanks for your comments on my new poem)


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