Encyclopedia of Me Monday: J is for...

Jumping.

Through hoops.

"How high can I jump" season has begun, with concerts, work ramping up, and, NaNoWriMo beginning in just 10 days. Pressure begins to build, and I went to bed last night with the heavy weight of obligation bearing down on me.

Women's live are filled with this kind of jumping, aren't they? We are multi-taskers extraordinaire, flitting from one responsibility to the next, caring for children, parents, homes, careers, paying bills, maintaining social obligations, scheduling doctor appointments...the list goes on and on.

Close your eyes and imagine this mental picture: women throughout the world, jumping through all the hoops necesssary to function in modern life.

You would think none of us would have a minute's worry about weight, with all that jumping going on.


How about you? How high are you jumping?

Encyclopedia of Me Monday: F is for Friends

As an only child, I take my friendships pretty seriously. My closest friends become the siblings I will never have, and so I'm grateful for their willingness to share life's vicissitudes with me.

Unlike siblings, however, friendships tend to come and go, don't they? Right now, I have a core group of three or four "fristers," women I have been through the fire with in one way or another, and women I know I can hail when the flames start licking at my feet. But, twenty years ago, my inner circle was comprised of completely different women. For various reasons, these women have disappeared from my life.

With one exception, my best friends right now are all significantly older than I. With no exceptions, my relationship with each one developed through music, and each one I considered a mentor before I considered them a friend. Sometimes I wonder what that says about me. Often, I feel that I get more than I give from our relationships. These women are strong, independent, and talented. And, for some reason, they have swooped me under their wing, nurtured my talents, and encouraged me to cultivate my abilities. How lucky am I?

My friend Leigh, at 41 years of age, the youngest of my BFF's, recently gave birth to her second child. When she told me she was pregnant, she said, "I kept thinking about what you once told me -that one of your biggest regrets in life was having only one child. And I thought I'd better do something about that before it was too late for me."

Wow. That was pretty huge for me, to think that my experience could have made such an impact on another woman's life. Reflecting on that, and on all that I've gained from my relationships with each of these women, I feel humbled by the power of friendship, of what we can give to each other, often without even realizing it. And I also feel a little frightened, knowing that sometimes friendships are vulnerable to loss for all kinds of reasons. Time, distance, illness - all of these can stretch the bonds of friendships, until they eventually break and fade away.

As I age, my hope is to one day influence the life of a younger woman in the way my friends have influenced me - to be a source of inspiration as well as companionship, an educator as well as a buddy, someone to respect and admire as well as someone to gossip and giggle with.

Friends. A good entry to have in the Encyclopedia of Me.

Encyclopedia of Me Monday: B is for...

What else~Books!

They excite me, inspire me, inform me, invigorate me, relax me, distract me from worries, and keep me company when I'm alone. My love affair with books began a when I was very small, and will last as long as I hold a book in front of me and read the words.

There are always at least two, sometimes three books piled on my nightstand~or more accurately, scattered throughout the house and even in my car! (Don't worry, I never read while driving, although I've been known to catch a paragraph or two at particularly long stop lights or stuck in a traffic jam.) I've usually got a novel going, along with a non-fiction book or two, plus at least one book on writing. Currently, my reading life is getting out of hand -in addition to all of the above, I've got some background material books to help me with revisions on my novel.

I've been keeping a book journal since 1996, a list of all the books I read during a month, with a "top 10" review at the end of the year. Occasionally, I'll look back to certain time periods and see what I was reading, which author was helping me get through a stressful time, or what characters were celebrating with me when things were good.

Here's what's been on my list this summer:

• Sisters of My Heart, Vine of Desire, The Uncommon Errors of Our Lives...Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
• Echoes of the Dance...Marcia Willett
• The River Queen...Mary Morris
• The Divide...Nicholas Evans
• The Post Birthday World...Lionel Shriver
• The Emperor's Children...Claire Messeud
• The Chinese Chef...Nicole Moins
• Shaggy Muses...Maureen Adams
• The Shoe Queen...Anna Davis
• Stormy Weather...Paulette Jiles
• The Revenge of the Kudzu Debutantes...Cathy Holt
• It's Always Something...Gilda Radner
• Eat, Pray, Love...Elizabeth Gilbert
• The Right to Write...Julia Cameron
• On Writing Well...William Zinsser
  

Update: Just got home from my monthly trip to the library, and what a haul! Here's what I grabbed up...

• One For the Money...Janet Evanovich. Lots of people have been recommending her Stephanie Plum mystery series, so I got one in paperback to read on my next plane trip
• Kabul Beauty School...Deborah Rodriguez
• The Maytrees...Annie Dillard
• Sheer Abandon...Penny Vincenzi. I've been waiting for this one...this British author has a series of big, fat, historical family sagas that I can't put down
• Peony In Love...Lisa See
• Keeping the House...Ellen Baker
• The Water's Lovely...Ruth Rendell

Can't you tell how excited I am??? I admit it~I'm a pathetic book-a-holic :)

Encyclopedia of Me Monday: A Is For...

Monday's are kind of strange days, aren't they? I always have this urge to write, but I sometimes feel a bit of let down from the weekend and not very inspired. Or else, I'm all excited from my weekend, and have so many things I want to write about, I can't seem to choose just one. Now, thanks to Bella Dia (whom I found via Patti Digh, at 37 Days) I have a new Monday project~The Encyclopedia of Me. A catalog of life, one alphabet letter at a time...what fun! Bella Dia's plan is to post on a new letter every day, but my thought is to make this a Monday project, so I'll have a way to kickstart my writing week every single week, at least for the next 26 weeks. If you want to play along, feel free to do so in whatever way the spirit moves you.

Aging...not a popular topic among my friends and relations, all of whom are feeling the effects of mounting years. It's not all that popular with me, either, especially today, when my bones feel stiff and creaky, my eyes aren't working all that well without my reading glasses, my pants are all too tight. Frankly, I feel decidedly curmudgeonly.

But I'm trying to have a good attitude (another "A" word) about aging. After all, I no longer get carded when I buy wine, I don't care whether my shoes are stylish as long as they don't hurt my bunions, and I occasionally get "senior discounts" on hotels and restaurants. I've also found I don't worry as much about things (large or small) and I get less irritated when life doesn't go my way.

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.” Charles Swindoll

Sure, I'm getting older, but aging is only a small percentage of what's going on in my life. I have a great family, a couple of jobs I like, lots of loyal friends who are fun to hang around with, and interesting, fulfilling hobbies. So who's to complain about a few grey hairs ( I have a very talented hair stylist, too!) Along with age, I think I've acquired a more mellow attitude about life in general, and that's not all bad!