Friday, July 21, 2006

My Life Path (according to!)

Your Life Path Number is 6
Your purpose in life is to help others
You are very compassionate, and you offer comfort to those around you.It pains you to see other people hurting, and you do all in your power to help them.You take on responsibility, and don't mind personal sacrifice. You are the ultimate giver.
In love, you offer warmth and protection to your partner.
You often give too much of yourself, and you rarely put your own needs first.Emotions tend to rule your decisions too much, especially when it comes to love.And while taking care of people is great, make sure to give them room to grow on their own.
What Is Your Life Path Number?

I'm not a superstitious person. I don't avoid black cats or 13th floors, and have no compunction about walking under ladders. I laugh off Tarot card readings and tea leaves, and smile indulgently at fortune cookies. But lately I've been doing some of these mindless little internet quizzes, like "What city do you belong in?" and "Who's your perfect lover?" And it's been a bit spooky just how close to home some of them have been. Like this one, for instance. One of my blog buddies just did this, and I thought her "life path" description was very appropos in some areas. So just for giggles, I gave it a try. As soon as that first line popped up - "Your purpose in life is to help others"- well, I knew it had me. As I read each succeeding description, I was squirming in my chair, and by the end, when I was warned that, while taking care of people was great, I should be sure to give them room to grow on their own, I just about jumped up and ran screaming from the room.

I am indeed a caretaker, a fixer, even a martyr. I will give up my time, my money, my talents - whoever needs a piece of me always gets it and more besides. Now this may sound noble and laudable, but it's actually a little pathetic. Because in the long run all that obsessive caretaking can make me feel used up and taken for granted. And sometimes it does smother the people it's aiming to help. My husband and son could likely attest to the fact that sometimes (to paraphrase a popular song) "love is more than enough."
But the world is so full of needy people - and I don't just mean the homeless man who apparently lives behind the dumpster at the gas station on the corner. There's the elderly lady next door who is so unsteady on her feet that it's dangerous for her to shuffle to the curb with garbage bags. And the really talented girl at school who can't afford college since her mother lost her job due to complications from congestive heart failure. There are all kinds of people who need me, including and most especially, members of my family.
The big question is where does the giving stop? It's a perennial problem for women, since we are so often raised to be nurturing and compliant. In the long run, if we give unto others until there is nothing left for ourselves, what good have we done? We are nothing more than an empty, often angry, vessel.
My 90 year old aunt, a very vital, involved, and outgoing woman, told me she had recently stopped serving on one of the committee's at her church. She said that she often ended up doing all the work herself and was going home from meetings feeling angry and bitter. She said "I just figured if I wasn't getting a blessing from what I was doing, than nobody else was either."
I think that pretty much sums it up.


Blogger jzr said...

This is certainly something I need to hear and I know a few others who need to hear it too!! We can only help when we have something to give and if we're empty from giving of ourselves all the time, we're not giving anything.

Blogger AnnieElf said...

Hi Becca. This was fun. I have a lot to live up to.

Blogger Star said...

This sounds very much like you. I'm a "Monk" fan and it reminds me of something he often says, "It's a blessing and a curse."

My husband found his life path and it was mostly accurate for him. I guess rather than chalking it all up to just a little fun, maybe we should accept what we see as good and try to maximize it and also acknowledge the parts we see as accurate but not necessarily good.

A gentle nudge for all of us to rise to the strengths we've been given and gradually move the drawbacks to the waste basket, then to the garbage can and eventually right out to the curb.

Blogger Madeleine said...

God, i can so relate to this, Becca.
I am the same particularly in relationships. happy to give and give, and yet found myself never receiving. as you said, this only leaves you feeling empty, unfulfilled and resentful.
i am now trying to change this pattern and ask for what I need.
i think your aunt is a wise woman. how indeed in the long run can others benefit from a us if all we are is a shell of our former selves.
lovely thoughts....:)


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