Saturday, August 26, 2006

Sunday Scribblings-The Monster

My son had a recurring nightmare when he was a child, and it centered around something he called "the dark 2000 years old." He would awake in absolute terror, yet he could not (and to this day still will not) talk about this monstrosity that terrorized his dreams.

So often the biggest monsters in our lives are the ones we refuse to confront. Like an ancient, dark presence they lie buried in our souls, coloring our behavior, our attitudes, our ability to live life to the fullest, often without our even being aware of their existence.

Perhaps it is dissapointment in a spouse, who in some way has failed to live up to the expectations and dreams you once shared.

Perhaps it is anger at a parent, who failed to provide the love and encouragement you needed.

Possibly, it's guilt surrounding a failed relationship with a family member or friend.

Maybe it's disillusionment regarding a career that has proven to be less fulfilling and rewarding than you had hoped. Or a dream for yourself that you've neglected to pursue.

So often we shelter these dark monsters in our heart, afraid to expose them to light and compassion, and change. It takes great courage to grab hold of these creatures and stare them in their wretched faces. And sometimes you can't do it alone - you need the presence of a strong and steady lover or friend to stand guard as you struggle with the demon. Yet, if you are powerful enough to conquer your own "dark 2000 years old," how safe and free you will become, safe enough let yourself love with abandon, free enough to pursue all those dreams you've hidden away.

My little boy used to stand wild eyed and trembling at my bedside in the middle of the night, consumed with fear at this indescribable horror that had insinuated itself into his life. I would scoop him up into my arms, ply him with gentle conversation and some warm Ovaltine, read his favorite storybooks, and try my best to eradicate the evil monster in his mind. It wasn't all that difficult to do, because, as bad as his "dark thing" was, it was a vague, amorphous evil. As adults, our monsters are often all too solid and well-formed. Dealing with them might require tougher measures than a gentle cuddle and a story with a happy ending.

Then again, perhaps not. Sometimes even life's oldest, darkest dilemmas will respond quite well to a hearty dose of love, optimism, and faith.


Blogger Autrice DelDrago said...

Hope and courage are both powerful weapons!

I enjoyed your Scribbling post today.

Blogger paris parfait said...

Beautiful words, Becca. Love, optimism and faith can certainly help slay some powerful monsters. It's true that the biggest monsters of all can be the invisible ones that hover in the background, yet we're fearful to confront them. Powerful post1

Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Love. That is a wonderful way to help us with monsters in our lives. It may not always make the "monsters" go away, but it does help to know someone cares.

Blogger Michelle said...

I love the monster cure at the end. It is something we should never forget.

Blogger GreenishLady said...

I remember so well the feeling of impotence and helplessness when my son had night terrors and couldn't let me know what it was that had him so terrified. It was awful not being able to help, but as you say the only antidote is love. It's what holds even if we can't name the monster. Great post.

Blogger susan said...

magical truths and musical words so well composed :-)

Anonymous bella said...

This was so comforting to read. The monsters may never go away, but they can be held at bay with love and courage.
Great, great post.

Blogger deirdre said...

A good dose of love and hugs has the power to banish some horrible things. I like the image of someone standing guard while we fight our demons.

Blogger Helen said...

I really enjoyed your post today. Since I am facing an awful monster myself with this prognosis of ALS I am encouraged with what you wrote and will remember.


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